Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize