is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize