It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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