You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
