Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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