so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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