I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
