we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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