That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize