he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize