Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
did you just send me my own nude
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
