you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
