Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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