lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize