She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
That was before I lit my hair on fire
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
