hotel room ftw
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
