Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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