I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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