Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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