So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
