White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
