He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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