You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
