His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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