North Korea, Best Korea!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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