I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
