Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
