the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dicks are not precious.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
