I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
this will be a night to untag.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize