Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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