Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
