It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
