I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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