does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
