; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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