He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize