Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
