I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize