i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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