This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
