I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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