Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
