he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sext me about skeletons
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