scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
