I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
