Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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