good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
