Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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