Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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