You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
