Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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