I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
