He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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