Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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