you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
