shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
