I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize