am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
