your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
