We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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