Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
