omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
