I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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