bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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