i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
