You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize