we're chasing vodka with high fives
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Congratulations! We have a period
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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