After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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