she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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