remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
