Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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