It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just cut my nipple shaving
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
