beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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