all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
